On November 12, Indonesia celebrates National Father’s Day. Although not as popular as Mother’s Day, this special moment for fathers is commemorated alongside National Health Day. Interestingly, National Father’s Day was initiated by mothers through an interfaith community back in 2006.
Beyond its brief history, fathers are often seen as busy heads of the family. As a result, many of them spend limited time with their children. However, it is not merely the amount of time that helps children feel close to their fathers—the quality of togetherness matters just as much.
Irwan Rinaldi, founder of the Ayah untuk Semua (Fathers for Everyone) community, stated during a National Father’s Day seminar in Cilandak (12/11) that fathers play a crucial role in child development.
“According to any parenting theory, raising children should be done together. Wherever you are, parenting is the responsibility of both father and mother,” he explained.
According to Irwan, there are four important aspects of parenting that busy fathers should pay attention to:
1. Watch Your Words When Your Child Wakes Up and Goes to Sleep
Wake your child with gentle and positive words. The first words a child hears in the morning can significantly influence their mood throughout the day.
It is also recommended not to let children fall asleep in front of the television. Instead, accompany them to their bedroom and ask about the most interesting part of their day. If your child had a bad day, offer encouragement and emotional support. On the other hand, if they had a great day, do not hesitate to show appreciation.
2. If Quantity Is Limited, Focus on Quality
When work limits the amount of time you have, quality moments become even more important. Fathers are encouraged to tell bedtime stories, play together, or simply spend focused time with their children without distractions.
3. Understand Your Child
Parenting cannot be applied in the same way to every child. Different age stages require different approaches.
For children aged 0–10 years, parents should spend more time talking (around 70 percent) and less time listening. However, for pre-teens and teenagers, appreciation is essential. Fathers should listen more (70 percent) and talk less (30 percent) to understand their thoughts and emotions.
4. Love Your Child Unconditionally
“Do not only love your child when their report card is good. Love them in any condition—whether they are sick, struggling, or facing difficulties,” Irwan emphasized.
No matter the situation, make sure your child feels that your love never changes. Never let them feel that you have given up on them.
